Becoming Intoxicated On A Mug In The Dormitory
College is the greatest years to be inebriated. Naturally, it’s the start of the lawful method of getting inebriated and there is no better way than to get inebriated with that bottle of unbranded red wine stashed at the bottom of the bed in the dorm room poured in your unwashed mug. Those were the times when we have not heard of the best wine glasses.
Needless to say there were also the red plastic cups at the keg party passed from one sorority sister to the next frat boy. Or who would forget about getting the booze straight from the keg? With the draft dripping from your mouth all the way to your shirt and the bubbles decorating your mouth as if suffering from epilepsy. Those were the times when the best wine glasses were not those long stemmed clear glasses but those drinking containers that no restaurant would be caught dead serving Dom Perignon in.
Who thought about the best wine glasses in those days? No one would even worry about consuming the best beer. What is important is having alcohol in the system to get you bold enough to relax and play strip poker in the center of the dance floor.
Then there are those terrible times when the best wine glasses are straight from the bottle. An inexpensive rum bought at a 711, still covered with that brown bag, guzzled on a street corner three seconds from the convenience store.
Not even the classroom is exempt from students taking in their best wine glasses with the least expensive vodka from the fraternity celebration the other night. How could the teacher detect your alcohol when that vodka glass is in the form of a plastic bottle of water.
Who said group studies are a bore? Who gets bored when you’re passing around a container of gin to help keep you from sleeping through calculus books. The academic group exercise would soon develop into the greatest game show never shown on television-give me the right answer or give me a piece of clothing.
In memory, the best wine glasses are those that don’t resemble a wine glass at all. It’s the only washed soup dish in the kitchen that is deep enough to be filled with scotch. The best college wine glass is the pitcher where the drink was mixed but was passed around for the intoxication party since the allowance wasn’t enough to purchase a pack of Springfield plastic cups. The best wine glasses are memories of College.
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